Lost At Meal Time - What's My New Normal?

Every week I sit down to make up a healthy meal plan (and following that, a grocery list for the week) and every single time, I feel SO. LOST.

It's the 'healthy' part that really gets me. Especially when I'm short on time or just not 'feeling' the meal-planning vibe. I'm diabetic, gluten free, and I'd dearly like to cut out all fillers, unpronounceable ingredients, and Monsanto / GMO foods. That is the goal I am for every week.

I have a basic meal 'outline' I follow when trying to put the meal plans together. It goes like this (still a work in progress):

breakfasts:

oatmeal

smoothies

eggs

lunches:

vegetarian ceviche

leftovers

soup

eggs

chips and salsa / nachos

dinners:

meat + two veggies

meat + veggie + starch

GF pasta or casserole

tacos

vegetarian?

snacks:

cashews

dark chocolate

ice cream cups

yogurt

fruit

chips and salsa

applesauce

apple and pb

clementine

banana

cheese stick

laughing cow and rice crackers

larabar

It's a good layout. Snacks are easy. Breakfast is ok. Oatmeal is easy but I miss cereal... but with my "no fillers, no GMO" plan I haven't found a good cereal that really works. I still buy cereals because my kids eat it and it's not a meal I've really managed to sway them over to the 'health' side yet. (I try to pick relatively healthy ones at least.) Lunch I struggle with mightily - I never want to eat it anyway, and nothing ever sounds good. I don't want to put a lot of work into lunch. 

Dinner is... easy in concept, not as easy in theory. The 'meat plus two sides' method is easy but I'd like to start eating less meat. It gets expensive. I'd like to find good vegetarian options that we will all enjoy and that will still be filling. 

The overall general plan is good. I continue to refine it but it mostly works and is mostly healthy. I sit down each week and the first thing I do is look at the sales papers and make a list of everything on sale that I might want to purchase for the week. The second step is SUPPOSED to be, then, to take the list of on-sale foods and make up a meal plan for the week. A SPECIFIC meal plan, with recipes and/or chosen foods - no generic 'meat' or 'fruit' or 'vegetable' items on the list. 

That's where the plan usually falls apart for me. I'm not sure why. I often end up with a half-assed plan and I go out, buy a lot of stuff on sale, and overbuy on snacks and things (making sure we're stocked each week with practically everything on the list above, when we don't NEED that many snacks each week). A lot of food ends up going to waste that way, and it also leads to overspending. Another goal is to eat on a budget because we really don't HAVE a lot of money to spend on food each month... and with us eating a lot of meat, fresher produce, and gluten-free foods (PLUS the other goals), we don't get to take advantage of most of the SUPER CHEAP foods on sale each week. I take comfort by reminding myself that we are increasing our health and it's worth the extra cost, but when money is tight you still feel the pinch and sometimes that 10 cent ramen (no matter how unhealthy) is awfully tempting.

I think I need a better database of recipes and meal plans that fit our health goals, for one. I went through a lot of recipe testing last summer when I was doing The Blood Sugar Solution. I found some foods to add to my staples list but overall I didn't find a lot of 'winner' recipes - quick, easy, delicious and SATISFYING. It's a lot of work to test new recipes, and it's a lot of work to even make a 'potential recipes' database, and it's very disheartening to be out of your element and not have a lot of 'staple' recipes to fall back on when you just need to throw a quick and easy dinner together.

The other thing that holds me back is I'm still fighting a lifetime of bad eating habits. Every time I go to my mom's house I'm reminded of how truly awful my nutritional meals background is. A veritable SEA of white everything. White breads, white pastas, sweets, frozen meals (Stouffers, Hot Pockets). I pretty much can't eat anything at my mom's house anymore. I miss those foods sometimes. My 'easy' meals, even with my own family, were things like: spaghetti with garlic bread. Hot dogs and beans. Macaroni and Cheese (yes, blue box mac and cheese, and I still love that chemically-laden slop).  Hot dogs and chips. Sloppy joes.

I can't eat any of that now, and while most of the time I don't really miss those specific foods... I still feel lost a lot of the time. It's hard to explain. Mostly it's a feeling like I don't really know what I'm doing, and I'm not terribly happy with it. It feels HARD. It still feels like a challenge. I was taught to cook as I grew up, and I've always loved cooking... but there's a part of me now that feels like I never learned how to cook, and I'm trying to learn a new skill while at the same time being limited to incredibly strict parameters. With these food restrictions, you go into the grocery store, and you pretty much have 5-6 aisles / sections in which you can shop. It feels very LIMITING to be surrounded by all that food and not be able to do anything with it, especially when it's food you've spent 30+ years eating.  To have it suddenly taken away - as I said in an earlier post, I've mourned the loss and I don't really feel like I'm still having grief over the foods I CAN'T eat, but I guess maybe I haven't come to terms with the foods I CAN eat. I am still trying new foods periodically... but I don't know what is EASY for me any more in terms of meals. I guess I haven't found my new normal.

What I find most of the time is that trying to do an entire week of meal plans makes me lose my mind. I still have to take it one or two days at a time. I hate this because I'm pretty sure I'm spending more money than I need to be (every time you go into the store you're tempted), and I know I'm spending way more time than I need to by hitting the grocery store multiple times a day.

My health is worth it. My family's health is worth it. I just wish I had figured it out more by now. 30+ years of eating habits being changed won't happen overnight. Just like weight loss won't happen overnight. Sometimes that's not terribly consoling

This post was brought to you by my frustration and anxiety as I try to put together a weekly meal plan yet again. :/

Plans, Perserverance, Acceptance

 Over the holidays I slacked off quite a bit on my overall eating and health plan. It definitely affected both my weight (as evidenced with the five pound gain over the past three months) and with how I felt.

• My blood sugar went back up, to unacceptable levels. I'm still playing around with the insulin I take, trying to take as little as possible while still keeping my sugars at a healthy level. It's really hard. My sugars right now vary between the low 100s (110's at the low end) to the high 200s (270s at the high end) throughout the day. I'm playing with diet, exercise, AND insulin... it's crazy. I was dealing with highs upon waking up until this week; now I am dealing with normal fasting sugars but random peaks throughout the day. I also don't feel great when this is going on... I vary between fatigue / sluggishness and dizziness. 
• A lot of my gastrointestinal issues were cropping back up. I am pretty sure this is gluten-related. It was overwhelming to be gluten free during the holidays and I gave up on it a lot of the time, leading me to cycle between constipation and diarrhea. I would also have periodic bouts with stomach pain. My acid reflux came back last month. I have been gluten free again for a few weeks and I'm feeling much better.
• My hair started falling out again. This was something that has been happening for a few years now, and while it was alarming at times - the sheer amount of hair I would pull out every time I showered - I have been blessed with a LOT of hair to spare and I wasn't BALD, my hair was just a lot thinner. I wrote it off as a post-having kids thing and/or a diabetes thing. When it stopped happening last summer I didn't really notice... but when it started happening AGAIN it became pretty clear to me that it, too, was probably gluten related! My hair loss over the past week, now that I'm gluten free again, has been pretty minimal.
• I had more frequent headaches and bouts of fatigue over the holidays. The fatigue was nowhere near as bad as it had been at the start of 2012 but I could feel it creeping back in at times.
• And of course, my weight started creeping back up.

I'm not really doing The Blood Sugar Solution plan, per se, anymore. There are definite positive things I have taken away from it - the elimination diet and discovering how much better I feel without gluten, for one. There are others I'm not so sure about - the vast amount of supplements, for one. I've cut a lot of them out - I didn't really notice a huge difference in how I felt, and as I do more research over time, there's just so much conflicting data on what each one actually DOES and whether or not they are really effective that it's a tough call to make. I've stuck with a multivitamin, omega-3's, probiotics, and fiber supplements... and until I run out I'm going to continue taking the "Healthy Blood Sugar" supplement I picked up from Vitacost. I don't plan on buying more of it though, unless my blood sugar changes drastically when I stop taking them!

Diet wise I am, obviously, eating gluten free right now. I'm still working to find a good balance between healthy, easy, not time-consuming, appealing to me, and cost effective. It's really hard, much harder than I think food SHOULD be. I'm sure I'll expand more on this topic as time goes on. I'm trying to streamline meals as much as possible, while trying the occasional new thing to hopefully expand our repertoire a little bit.

Exercise - I'm picking that back up. Slacked a good amount over the holidays. Contemplating working my way up to my own "Biggest Loser" type exercise plan to kickstart my weight loss. I will see how that pans out for me and, of course, report in on it too.

That's pretty much it. In the grand scheme of things, we know there's no magic pills... with RARE exceptions, it's calories in, calories out. I've also come to terms a LOT more over the past year that the TYPE of calories you put in matter. I've been staunchly denying that for years, but the more I learn, and the more I experiment with my own health, the more I realize I simply have to accept it as true. I've not just accepted it, I've even made a lot of peace with that over the past year - it was really hard for me, for a long time, to say "No one should eat this food" or "I shouldn't eat this type of food". Even after it was becoming readily apparent, I still wanted to rage against the injustice of it. I'm pretty much through with, for lack of a better term, the stages of grief over food. I don't always love the restrictions but I'm not angry or in denial anymore. I focus on what I CAN eat, not what I can't.

I slip up, I pick myself up, I start over again.

Progress Report

I'm behind in posting. It's getting harder and harder to devote so much of my day to being healthy. I lobe feeling better and losing weight, don't get me wrong - but this lifestyle change takes up a LOT of my time and the longer it goes on, the more things get pushed to the side. Things like cleaning my house, working on my business ideas, even taking care of my family. Finding a balance is hard. This isn't news to any adult alive, I'm sure. I'm still working on that balancing act. (Has anyone actually got it figured out? Because if you do, SHARE WITH US. You could sell that formula and make a fortune.) In the meantime, I haven't given up! I'm not doing it perfectly; but then again, who amongst us is perfect? I just take a page from Cub Scouts, and from what we tell our kids almost every day - just Do Your Best.

Technically I'm in the middle of week four... in a nutshell, week three was making time for relaxation every day and making sure you get proper sleep. I have found it's really difficult, for me at least, to make time for relaxation! I want to just rush through it and GO GO GO on to the next thing on my to do list. I think that's kind of missing the point though. Anyone else have this same problem?
Week four is to add in exercise you enjoy. Ideally cardio, strength training, AND 30-60 minutes of stretching at least twice a week. This is another thing that's tough to fit into every day life. I know exercise should be a priority but I'm still working on that. More on that later.

As I muddle through all this, here's a progress report. (Past progress reports can be found here, for reference.)

Weight - 219
Waist Size - 46.25"
Blood Pressure - haven't tested since last time
BMI - my BMI is 35.3. I'm still obese!
Waist To Height Ratio - .69 (This website says "Take Action!") Dr. Hyman says "this number is a better predictor of diabesity, heart disease, and risk of death than almost any other number."
Hemoglobin A1C - haven't tested since last time
Cholesterol - haven't tested since last time


Insulin- my sugars were creeping a little higher than I liked; fine during the day but getting too high for my fasting. I have added in one shot, my Levemir (slow acting insulin). I am currently taking 25 units each night. My fasting is better - some days ok, some days too high. Daytime blood sugars have still been fine. I continue to monitor regularly.

PLEASE keep going down! I've only had one spike up since I started this, and though it was short-lived it was not a fun time.

I'm right on the cusp of my lowest weight in a long time. For the past several years I've made it down to this weight (219), but never made it past it. I used to go to TOPS - Take Off Pounds Sensibly. I went for about three years. I can't tell you how many times I hit this weight while I was going. I used to bounce regularly between 219 - 225 or so. The beginning of this year saw me at my highest weight EVER - 236.4. Ouch. I've lost 17.4 pounds this year. 10.4 of that has been since August, when I changed my diet drastically. I'm scared I'm going to have some sudden random weight gain and it'll be really discouraging. I really want to get past it forever and never see it again. I haven't been below this weight in at least five years! My daughter (my youngest child) will be six in three weeks. I was right around 220 when I delivered her. I know I lost weight after I had her; I think I got down to about 210 sometime in her first year, and then I went back up to around 220. I stayed in the upper 220's for most of her life, until this year when I crept into the mid-230's. When I GOT pregnant with her I weighed 190. So my intermediate goals kind of coincide with my pregnancies and deliveries... ultimately I'd like to get to at least 175 and then re-evaluate where I'm at. On the way there, my goals are kind of as follows:
218 - because I haven't seen it since Oksana was one or so (5 years ago)
210 - because I haven't seen it since the first year of Oksana's life (5.5 years ago)

190 - the weight I was when I got pregnant with Oksana (6.5 years ago)
180 - the weight I was when I got pregnant with Drake (8.75 years ago)
175 - the weight my doctor told me I needed to be before we should talk about me getting pregnant again (about 9 years ago)

170 is the lowest I recall ever being as an adult. That's where I was when I met my husband (9.25 years ago).

And we'll see what happens after that.

Other indicators of progress:

I can't really SEE it myself yet - despite losing 17.4 pounds this year, since I see myself every day, I don't think I look much different yet. However, I just saw a friend yesterday who hasn't seen me in 2-3 months and she complimented me and said she could definitely see it. And other friends have told me they can tell too. That's always nice to hear.

Clothes - yesterday I wore a pair of jeans that have always fit snugly on me. I could get into them but they were always really tight and never wanted to stay on my ass. They still kind of ride down a bit (I think that's just part of the cut of this particular pair of jeans) but I got into them with no struggle and they stayed on all day comfortably. Today I am wearing a pair of capris that are a size 16. They are a fairly elastic size 16 - I was able to wear them in the past when everything else was a size 18 - but I haven't been able to get into them in about a year. I haven't really noticed a difference as far as my shirts go yet, though I have noticed that most of the time when I look down, I don't see my belly sticking out past my boobs anymore. That's nice.
Current clothing sizes - shirts are still pretty much extra large. Pants are mostly a size 18.

Picture Time!

Me in March of this year, at our Cub Scouts Blue and Gold Dinner.

Me yesterday morning, helping to pack up books to send to a school in Africa so they can have a library. Those are the jeans I mentioned.

Me yesterday, holding a pipe wrench I brought to a friend's OMGWTFBBQ.

My Supplementation Plan

A few days ago I laid out the supplementation plan for week two from The Blood Sugar Solution. If you recall, I am on the advanced plan. I also have high cholesterol. For those playing along at home, that means he wants me to take:

1. Multivitamin
2. Vitamin D3
3. Omega-3 Fatty Acids
4. Magnesium Glycinate
5. Alpha Lipoic Acid
6. Chromium Polynicotinate
7. Biotin
8. Cinnamon
9. Green Tea Catechins
10. PGX (polyglycoplex; a super fiber)
11. Protein Powder (to add to a morning protein shake)
12. Probiotics
13. Acacia (heartwood extract) and hops extract
14. Fenugreek seed
15. Bitter melon gourd fruit extract
16. Gymnema leaf extract
17.  Red Rice Yeast
18. Plant Sterols

Hellooooo Nurse! That's a whole lot of stuff every day. Supplements aren't cheap either, and as we discussed previously, you have to do your due diligence to make sure you trust the source of your supplements or you might not be getting what you think you are getting. After checking into Dr. Hyman's available supplements, I learned it would cost me a good $350 a month to get all of it. It's going to be hard enough to work these into our monthly budget... $300+ is NOT going to work for us. Money's tight and while I am willing to put money into my health, there's only so much we can do. What did I do? I did what Virgos do best.

I made a list!

I wrote out a list of all the supplements I am supposed to take. Then I went shopping. I looked around at local stores. I looked into the brands available and tried my best to determine which sources would be most reliable. I checked prices locally and online. I asked my Facebook friends where they get their supplements and what sources they trust. I checked ingredients and did my best to find products that had as few unwanted additives as possible, and checked to make sure they were all gluten and dairy free. I looked for products that combined supplements on my list in the correct quantities, in an effort to purchase less items and take less pills per day.

In the end I decided to use Vitacost for my supplementation needs. Several of my health-conscious friends use them and have been very happy with the service. The prices are good. A friend works for them, has for several years, and she vouched for them as a company overall and as to the quality of their products.  So then I had to make ANOTHER list. They had several combo products with some overlap in products; I wanted to see which selections would net me the least amount of pills daily for the least amount of cash overall monthly, and still get me what I needed.

So I made a comparison chart.

In the end, they both worked out to the same number of pills daily... 26. Cost-wise it wasn't much different either, but one will save me about $10 a month overall. It'll add up so I went with that one. Currently we are budgeting $150 a month for supplements... less than half of what it would have cost me if I was buying directly through The Blood Sugar Solution. In the end I decided not to take cinnamon (I've read conflicting studies about its efficacy in diabetes, and I cook with it frequently anyway), the protein powder (because I'm not, as yet, drinking any shakes so it would be a moot point), and the acacia and hops - I don't even remember my reasoning on that one. I think I had some trouble tracking it down and at that point I was so damn tired of investigating all these supplements I just said 'these will do for now' and had at it.

Then I made yet ANOTHER list.

So then I placed my first order, set up automated shipping for future orders, and went out and bought a GIANT old-lady style weekly pill container. It's fun to be me. Above is my list of how many pills per day I'm supposed to take and when I'm supposed to take them. I only have to refer to this once a week, when I'm filling my old-lady pill container.

I got my shipment of supplements a couple days ago and am slowly working my way up to taking all of the pills. I'll let you know if anything weird happens. (Like last night, when I woke up in the middle of the night with CRAZY painful diarrhea. Possibly from increasing the fiber amount all the way to max? We'll see how today goes. Not making any supplement changes today to see how my body behaves!)

Week Two: The Blood Sugar Solution

"Nutritional supplements are an essential and effective part of diabesity treatment." - Dr. Mark Hyman

 Week Two of the plan is Optimize Metabolism with Nutritional Supplements. Dr. Hyman says "nutritional supplements are an ESSENTIAL and effective part of diabesity treatment" because "emerging scientific evidence has proven the importance of nutrients as essential helpers in our biochemistry and metabolism". He goes on to discuss how large-scale deficiencies of various nutrients have been well documents in our population. Obesity and malnutrition often go hand in hand, especially with our modern diets, because they sheer amounts of processed, sugary, high calorie, white foods are generally deficient when it comes to supplying nutrients... and they require vitamins and minerals to metabolize, further depleting our body's stores. He lists several additional reasons we are nutrient-deprived in this day and age.

His reasoning for recommending such a variety of supplements, and also his reason why studies into specific supplements often vary in results? "Nutrients work as a team. Broccoli is great for you and can help prevent and cure many diseases, but if all you are was broccoli, you would get sick and die. Nutrients work together to maintain the proper balance in your body."

He goes on to point out that while drugs are regulated, supplements are not. You might get cheap / poorly absorbed forms of the nutrient, or the dosage in the pill may not match the label, or it may have additives or allergens, and so on. He, OF COURSE, sells his own TRUSTED brands of supplements. It's all on his website. Go ahead and check it out; it'll cost hundreds of dollars each month to follow the plan. Bully for him. My advice is to do your own research and find supplements you can trust AND afford. Here's an article that discusses ways to make sure your supplements are safe, including looking for various certifications from some of the regulating agencies out there.

What supplements should you take?
If you are on the Basic Plan (and really, he recommends these for everyone, and to stay on these for life):

1. Multivitamin - will contain all the basic vitamins and minerals you need
2. Vitamin D3 - deficiency is epidemic; it influences more than 200 different genes that can prevent and treat diabetes and metabolic syndrome
3. Omega-3 Fatty Acids - improve insulin sensitivity, lower cholesterol, reduce inflammation, prevent blood clots, and lower the risk of heart attacks
4. Magnesium Glycinate - helps glucose enter the cells and turn those calories into energy for your body
5. Alpha Lipoic Acid - powerful antioxidant and mitochondrial booster that has been shown to reduce blood sugar and heal a toxic liver; may also prevent diabetic nerve damage and neuropathy; can improve clearance of glucose from the blood by 50 percent
6. Chromium Polynicotinate - important for proper sugar metabolism and insulin sensitivity; can help you make more insulin receptors
7. Biotin - enhance insulin sensitivity, lower triglycerides, reduce expression of cholesterol-producing genes, and improve glucose metabolism
8. Cinnamon - helpful in controlling blood sugar and improving insulin sensitivity
9. Green Tea Catechins - helpful in controlling blood sugar and improving insulin sensitivity; can increase fat burning and metabolism
10. PGX (polyglycoplex; a super fiber) - profound effects on insulin, glucose, and hemoglobim A1C; reduces the absorption of sugars and fats in your bloodstream and helps control appetite, weight loss, blood sugar, and cholesterol; can lower your insulin response after a meal by 50 percent
11. Protein Powder (to add to a morning protein shake) - rice, soy, hemp, pea, or chia - some are anti-inflammatory and support detoxification, can lower blood sugar and cholesterol.
12. Probiotics - to counter the damage modern life does to our gut ecosystem

He does note that it's perfectly acceptable, and even recommended, to find products that combine these items as long as they are high-quality and you are taking the recommended doses of each.

If you are on the Advanced Plan, you should take all the supplements listed above and also add these:

1. Acacia (heartwood extract) and hops extract - regulates critical signaling factors that control your genes, which have been clinically shown to improve insulin sensitivity and fat metabolism
2. Fenugreek seed - assists in insulin function and helps lower triglycerides and raise HDL cholesterol
3. Bitter melon gourd fruit extract - helps reduce blood sugar in diabetes
4. Gymnema leaf extract - lowers blood sugar levels and may help repair the pancreas

He recommends taking the Advanced Plan supplements for one year, then getting your blood tests redone, repeating the self-assessment quizzes, and evaluating your progress.

Finally, he has a section discussing even MORE supplements you can take if you have conditions frequently associated with diabesity, such as elevated cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc.

This chapter of the book also discusses the intelligent use of prescribed medications. He cites a study called the Diabetes Prevention Program, which found that medication did not work nearly as well as lifestyle changes, and this effect lasted for even 10 years after the study ended. His goal is to use The Blood Sugar Solution to help patients (with their physician's guidance) reduce or even eliminate many of their prescribed medications, since many of them have limited benefits and significant risks.

The cheat sheet section for week two in the book.

So that's week two... supplements! In addition to following the food rules from week one, of course. As I mentioned yesterday, starting all of them at once gave me quite the stomach ache. I recommend adding them in slowly. I'm going to start adding in one a day... and if I feel any ill effects, hold steady until my body has time to get used to what I'm on, or possibly eliminate the ones I don't seem to be tolerating well.

OW MY PANCREAS

I was going to blog about week two's chapter in the book and the new requirements; largely, the vast amount of supplements he wants us to take.

Instead I will leave you with this advice:
When someone tells you to start taking a buttload of supplements... DON'T start taking them all at once. I don't care what he says. It's a major shock to the system. My entire digestive system is trying to crawl out of both ends of my body simultaneously. Stagger their start dates or something. Your body will thank me.

http://youtu.be/0vFVnTMwt3w

 ... For all the other 'go slow, reintroduce things slowly' type advice in this book, I'm really surprised he is totally gung-ho about having people shove all kinds of (likely) new substances down their throats all at once! How are you supposed to know which one you're having a reaction to, if indeed a reaction occurs? And even if NO reaction occurs... it's a pretty major systemic change.

I'm cutting them all out again until my stomach feels better and then I'll add them in one at a time, see what happens.

Major Off-Roading

I've kind of got a little bit of this going on right now. Or at least that's how I feel.

I've been pretty off my game the past week. I haven't journaled about my diet since last Thursday, and I've definitely been half-assing the diet in that week as well. Here's what's been going on:

For starters, I have a generalized anxiety disorder. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that in this blog or not. One of the positive things I HAVE noticed is that my anxiety seems much more controlled and lessened since I started this diet. That's pretty awesome. Unfortunately, it's not completely GONE. One of the areas I've always struggled is with achieving balance in life... balance in all my goals, mostly. If I spend too much time focusing on ONE goal I start to get anxious that the others aren't being achieved. In the past I would just get overanxious, shut down, and do NOTHING. I've learned through therapy to roll with the punches (or the mood swings, if you will) a little better though, and when I feel that anxiety start to come up I have gotten much better at shifting gears. That's kind of what happened last Friday. I was starting to get really anxious because I was focusing all my time on my diet and taking care of the family, and my house was falling into massive disarray. So I took Friday to chill out a bit and focus mostly on whipping the house back into shape. I stuck to the diet pretty faithfully, I just didn't blog or journal or make complicated meals (leftovers, yay). Unfortunately this carried over into some of the other days... with not being a HUGE fan of some of the foods I have to eat on this plan, it is hard for me to scrounge up foods on the fly right now. I'm still working on building up that repertoire of easy and satisfying freezer meals, snacks, quick foods, and foods on the go. Without having those resources in place, and with 33 years of bad-food eating habits in place, it's very easy to go backwards and grab things that aren't great for me.

Another challenge: yesterday was my birthday. YAY! We went out all day on Saturday to celebrate... we hit the Bristol Renaissance Faire (one of my favorite places) and then Joe's Crab Shack for dinner. I did OK on the diet but allowed a few small cheats to sneak through the cracks. Tuesday night I had a Partylites show / birthday party at my house, and mostly stuck to the diet but cheated with corn tortilla chips and a little cheese. (I also, in a moment of weakness, bought and ate a cupcake at Jewel when I was shopping for the party.) Yesterday, my actual birthday, a friend took me out to lunch and my family took me out to dinner. I cheated with corn chips again, a little cheese, and some barbecue sauce (mmm ribs). A few cheats here and there are definitely going to add up. Though I think overall I handled the birthday landmine fairly well.

A third challenge: we ran out of food money. Eating fresh, healthy foods IS expensive, and I don't have a good handle yet on some of my money-saving food ideas. I am working on learning:

• how to buy in smaller amounts so less produce goes to waste
• how to plan my recipes (which I'm still building up!) seasonally
• how to plan my meals so that I'm using ALL the ingredients I buy (for example, if I have a recipe that uses two stalks of celery, trying to plan a few more recipes in the next couple days that use the REST of that bunch of celery I bought)

I'm not quite there yet though. It's going to take time, and I recognize that, but in the meantime I am exceeding my food budget by quite a bit. I've been subsisting on $400 a month for our family of four. That's not cutting it anymore.  For processed foods, I could coupon quite a bit and get good deals and sometimes even free food. While fresh food coupons DO exist, they are rare. We already discussed changing the budget next month to allow more food money, but for this month (until the 15th, at least) I'm down to the 'scrounge in your pantry' stage. Which isn't working incredibly well overall. I got rid of most of the bad foods but there's still a few things lurking that I may have to delve into because I just won't have any other options until next payday. I'll do the best I can.

This leads me to another challenge: I do keep some foods in the house for my kids and husband. I am learning that some foods do not tempt me and other foods, unfortunately, DO. Things I have snuck bits of in the past week include ice cream, generic Cheetos, candy, and a Twinkie I filched from my mom's house. It's like logically I know these things are bad for me but before the logic center of my mind can process a strong rebuttal, my body is already going

and then it's too late. So this is another learning process... what treats I can and can't have for them in the house while I'm struggling through this. What I'm going to do about going to my mom's house I just don't know. It's pretty much a known fact that dieting 'willpower' is a myth. 

To attribute dieting success or failure to willpower, researchers say, is to ignore the complex interaction of brain chemicals, behavioral conditioning, hormones, heredity and the powerful influence of habits. Telling an overweight person to use willpower is, in many ways, like telling a clinically depressed person to ''snap out of it.''

 I'll just keep looking for ways to fight this war inside myself until I've managed to change my brain chemicals, conditioning, hormones, etc. as best I can.

So. Anyway. There's been some backsliding. I've noticed some health backsliding as well, some of the old symptoms coming back up, and I DO NOT WANT that. This is real life, and this is a HUGE process; I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm just going to pick myself up and get back on track. The Blood Sugar Solution book says:

Getting and staying healthy in our modern world is a heroic feat. It is a subversive and revolutionary act. We have to navigate dangerous food landscapes, resist carefully designed temptations at every turn, fight marketing that goes right after our primitive hard-wired survival impulses, and fend off food pushers, saboteurs, and a thousand distractions online, on television, and in other media.

A HEROIC FEAT. A A revolutionary act! I like that. I enjoy a good challenge. I started journaling again today, and I'm going to count today as the official start of Week Two... which I will blog about next time!

Slight Deviations

As mentioned previously, I often hate this diet. It's more of a love-hate relationship really; I love feeling better, achieving health goals, being off insulin (though I may adjust that this week; I don't love my morning highs - but I'm worried about daytime lows! Damn you faulty pancreas!). When I find a delicious meal that works I'm happy and I love that too. It's the many forays into NON delicious meals and all the work it is taking to build up a usable collection of delicious meals that I hate.  I am also none too happy about cravings. I don't hate that part because I know this is temporary and I'll be able to have many of those things (in moderation) again in the future (or some variation of them if I do end up with gluten or other food allergies). I mostly hate the work and hate the times when I put a ton of work in only to end up with food I really dislike.

So. There have been some rough times and some sad times. There have been some low blood sugar times and some low energy times. Especially when I had my period last week... my energy in the afternoon was REALLY flagging. I was worried I wasn't getting enough carbs and for a few days in a row I was just headachy and exhausted all afternoon / evening. It may have been menstrual cycle related, or it may have been that I just wasn't getting enough of what I needed in my diet. I mentally examined my habits and made a few decisions:

• I will make sure I am eating a salad at lunch and at dinner, to try to get extra vegetables in
• I will make sure I'm eating some berries with my breakfast
• I will, in addition to being allowed 1/2 cup of berries a day, also allow myself one apple or one pack of GoGo squeeZ applesauce (or equivalent) each day

I had considered adding in a grain (like rice) or one starchy vegetable a day, but I'm most likely to eat those at dinnertime, and my low energy and headaches were starting mid-afternoon, so I decided to go with the apple and eat it around lunchtime or as my afternoon snack (with protein - typically peanut butter, or a couple slices of roast beef or ham).

So I have now allowed myself two deviations from the Advanced Plan.

1. I allow myself one Larabar a day - they have dates in them, equivalent to 1/4 cup of fruit. I only eat the Peanut Butter Cookie or Blueberry Muffin varieties for now.
2. I allow myself one apple or equivalent each day.

Finding a snack / meal bar that doesn't have lots of sugar or funky additives is not very easy. I've been pretty happy with these though. Except I'm disappointed in the cashew ones... which is sad because I love cashews. But they taste baaaaad.

It's amazing how much happier I am with just these two small changes. It makes it a little easier for me to be adaptable too. Also I don't have that low-energy, dragging, headachy issue. My period ended on Monday so it's hard to say which one was the problem - needing some carbs in the afternoon or hormones. I suppose I'll find out when my cycle comes back around in a month!

I try very hard to listen to my body and figure out what cues it is giving me. Sometimes there's a lot of trial and error in that, but I think it's important.

I did my journaling even though a certain kitten did NOT want to let me finish (AND wanted to steal my breakfast too!)

Fast, Cheap, And Easy

Except now I'm complicated, expensive, and full of beans.

Yesterday was one of those "run around all afternoon" days. The kids and I all had dental cleanings in the afternoon, and I had some errands to run. I was making soup for lunch in the Crock Pot and it wasn't ready before I had to leave, so I grabbed some baby carrots and a thing of applesauce and ran out the door. It was a sad lunch. (Oh yeah, I've decided to allow myself one apple or thing of applesauce each day. More on that in a future post.)

The kids and I *love* these GoGo squeeZ applesauces. They're all natural, just apples (and occasionally other fruits or spices depending on the flavor), no additives or sugar or anything. The thing I love is that they taste great! I've tried canned or jarred 'natural' applesauce and it always tastes funky or bitter. They aren't paying me to endorse it, I just love this stuff. My favorite is the apple cinnamon!

 Our dentist is on the north side of the city, an hour away. We loooove them and continue to go even though we moved to the suburbs seven years ago. They're great with us, great with the kids, full of pampering goodness... I'm somewhat dental-phobic; I have a lot of anxiety about having ANY sort of dental work done (not cleanings but anything that involves potential pain or injections in my gums FORGET IT). They're very understanding, give me massages and parrafin hand wax, give me lots of Valium AND let me have happy gas. I still have anxiety but part of me looks forward to those happy-hazy-woozy dental times too! So I'm willing to drive an hour to have great service.

Perfect Smile Dental Spa. They aren't paying me to endorse them either, I just love them that much! Ask for Irma, she's the best! (You can name-drop us if you go though, we do get a gift certificate!)

Another bonus of having a dentist on the north side of the city is that some of my friends live up there. My friend Sarah has people over most Tuesday nights so I took advantage of our dental visit and went to hang out at her place. OJ came up after work, hung out a bit, then took the kids home so they could get to bed on time. Me? I stayed at Sarah's until 2AM - COMPLETELY irresponsible! But fun! Hey, it happens rarely for me. I'll enjoy it when I can.

This meant, however, that I had a piss-poor lunch AND we all needed dinner on the go.
Also, it's the end of August, it was an EXPENSIVE month for us (basically we spent 20 days on vacation), and there's still some month left at the end of our money.
Thus far I've managed to go out and eat on this new diet by picking restaurants that have somewhat higher-quality foods and getting entrees like salmon, chicken, or steak with vegetables. Tasty but pricy. Of course if I'm out with the family, they eat where I eat, so then we're buying restaurant entrees for four. The cost adds up pretty quickly and we just couldn't afford to do it this time. I needed something cheap and easy.

I have no idea how to handle 'fast, cheap, on the go' food on this diet plan. Salads are out of the question for dinner (I can manage them for lunch) because they simply don't satisfy me. Perhaps when I've been eating this way for years instead of mere weeks, I will come to look at a salad as a meal and not something to be tolerated as a preface to a meal. Right now, while I'm working on it, I am nowhere NEAR that point. If I got a chicken salad, I'd eat the chicken, pick at a few of the lettuce leaves, and be unhappy and hungry all night long. And I heard rumors that chocolate cake was going to be visiting the gathering later in the evening. If I ate a grumpy, sad salad, I'm not sure if I'd be able to resist delicious cake later.

If you HAVE to do fast food, and you're extremely limited on food choices, what do you do? You can't eat wheat, sugar, dairy, starchy vegetables, fruit, or any other kind of grain. You're also not supposed to be eating processed food. At the same time, this is real life and not every day is going to be a perfect day. What are the best choices when you can't be 'perfect'?

Here's the choice I made. I decided to make sure I was avoiding gluten since I'm fairly certain I had a reaction to it earlier in this plan. We hit Taco Bell. I obviously skipped out on the 'no processed food' rule last night. I also allowed myself a grain (corn, in the tortilla chips) and dairy (cheese). I got Nachos BellGrande and Pintos N Cheese.

It was waaaaay more delicious than Taco Bell has any right to be.

I feel kind of crappy today but it feels more like the general "you stay up too late every night and then LAST night you didn't get home until 3AM and then you had to be up at 7:30 to get the kids to school so your sleep is ALLLL screwed up" crappy, not like the kinds of "you are sooo unhealthy you done gonna die" crappy I've felt earlier this year. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying Taco Bell is going to make its way back into my diet with any sort of regularity, but I don't think it was the worst occasional choice I could make either.

Yesterday's Blood Sugar Solution journal.

However, I AM curious as to what healthy options you choose at fast food restaurants when you have to go. What's the best choice you make (or would make), and why? What do you recommend? (At any of them, not just Taco Bell! McDonald's, Subway, Burger King, Long John Silver's... what else?)

How Do I REALLY Feel About My Diet?

Even though yesterday was my 'official' day one on the program, I've been pretty much following this diet for a while now. I started the two week prep part on Friday, August 3rd; that was fairly extreme, cutting out sugar, flour, alcohol, and caffeine.

I started following the food rules of the advanced plan on Tuesday August 14th; further cutting out all grains, fruit (except half a cup of berries a day), dairy, and starchy vegetables.

If you didn't know me well in person before this, here are some things you should know about me: For starters, I'm 33 years old, and I was raised on a fairly traditional Midwestern diet. Meat, potatoes, overcooked canned or frozen veggies, lots of breads. We drank pop pretty regularly. Sweets have been prevalent in my home from the time I was a kid, and I have always loved them. If I were to go to my mom's house right now and poke around for food (which all of us DO every time we go over there), I'd find:

• a counter with Twinkies, cookies, coffee cakes, white bread, brownies, fudge, probably some candy
• A freezer with several kinds of ice cream, frozen dinner's (Stouffer's and Hot Pockets), ice cream bars
• A fridge with lunchmeat, pop, milk, butter, cream cheese, American cheese, probably sliced cheese, leftovers (often meat and potatoes and a veggie), refrigerated Bob Evans mashed potatoes, instant puddings and jello desserts. On top of the fridge is a basket filled with potato chips, tortilla chips, cheetos.
• A cabinet next to the fridge with macaroni and cheese and white pasta
• A shelf with several kinds of crackers (Town House, Club Crackers), popcorn, instant microwaveable cakes and brownies, sugary oatmeals and breakfast cereals (Fruity Pebbles, Corn Pops), bags of marshmallows
• And a giant glass jar filled to the brim with chocolate, chocolate, chocolate - Hershey's, Reese's cups, Kit Kats, Baby Ruths

I don't know if it was exactly like that when I was growing up, but that's pretty much the setup it's been for years. Everyone likes visiting mom's house - it's full of goodies! It's hard for me to even go over there right now because it's really hard to resist those things. I was raised on them, and I really believe sugar and flour are very addicting. It's hard to change a habit as it is; it's even harder when your body is having physical reactions to the mere IDEA of putting those things in your mouth.

I mention all this to illustrate the fact that I was raised on lots of white, white, white foods. Processed foods. Flour and sugar. The very things that seem to be worst for my body right now.

So to have been on this incredibly restrictive diet for a good four weeks now, and to have another 6+ weeks staring me in the face - it's HARD. It would be hard for anyone... but it's REALLY hard for someone like me who suddenly can't eat ANY of the things that are habitual foods. I'm attempting to force my body to eat in a COMPLETELY different way from what it has known for all 33 years of its life. I've made small changes over the past decade; mostly adding in foods I knew were good for me, not as much taking out foods that I knew were bad for me. I got rid of pop years ago; I almost never touch the stuff. I've added in more vegetables to my dietary repertoire. I've experimented with whole wheat grains, pastas, and breads. But cutting out all of the things I DO eat? And doing it so suddenly? I've had a lot of unhappiness these past four weeks. I'll be honest - part of me HATES this diet. Part of me is really, desperately bitter about NOT being able to eat those foods. The logical side of me knows this is a much healthier, more sustainable diet. The emotional side of me is mostly placated by the knowledge that I FEEL so much better most of the time. I don't dwell on it most of the time. But I'm unhappy. I have cravings. They're not as bad as they were at first, but the people who said they go away after a few days? Obviously weren't really addicted, and obviously didn't have habits as bad as mine.

Here's my journal from yesterday.

 Breakfast is hard every day. I skipped breakfast for YEARS. When I became diabetic, adding in breakfast was one of the hardest things I had to do.  Forcing myself to eat in the mornings made me nauseous for almost two years, but I did it. I finally found something that worked reasonably well for me - a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and a glass of milk. I had that for breakfast for more than a year. Now I can't eat cereal. I hate oatmeal, but even if I liked it, I couldn't have it right now. My body, still not thrilled with the idea of breakfast in general, finally adjusted itself to the general idea of something sweetened with a dairy in the mornings. I can't have either of those things now. I like eggs, quite a bit, but a) I'm only supposed to eat a max of 8 eggs a week and b) I don't really DO eggs - or anything savory - for breakfast. I'm also not a morning person, which means I HATE cooking in the morning. I want an EASY, quick breakfast. I finally hit on a solution that is working pretty well, but it's still quite an adjustment.

Lunch has always been hard. I could very easily skip it now that I've had breakfast. I'd have the occasional sandwich... cheese quesadillas are big over here... or hot dogs, or franks n beans, or mac and cheese. Can't have any of those. I'm trying to eat soups and salads or leftovers now. I've never been a salad eater - leafy greens don't feel or taste like food to me. I really have to jazz them up with carrots and cukes and seeds and maybe some ham or turkey or a bit of hard boiled egg. I can't even have cheese or dressing. Soups and stews are fine EXCEPT I have to cook them, and sometimes they don't turn out very tasty (I need to build up my 'delicious meals' repertoire for this diet!! I'm working on it!) and then I'm just left feeling really unhappy with my diet again.

Snacks - another hard one. Berries are OK but they've never been my favorite fruit, and to be honest, I've always put sugar on them. I'm trying to eat them but they're much more tart than I'm used to and I'm mostly just unhappy while I'm eating them. Salsa and/or guacamole are delicious - but no chips. Eating it with veggies just isn't the same. I'm working on it. Hummus is good - but no pitas. Again with the veggies. I eat my sad carrot and cry on the inside.

Dinner - I DO like to cook (my problem with doing it for every meal is the sheer amount of TIME it takes up! And also how filthy my kitchen gets every day!). I've been going through my cookbooks and making lists of every recipe that fits this plan and categorizing them (dinner, side dish, lunch, etc). Before I go grocery shopping I put together a meal plan for the next few days from this recipe list. It's... kind of exhausting. SO MUCH PLANNING. There is no real easy 'grab and go' meal idea on this plan. Not unless I cooked it ahead, anyway. Some dinners have been very tasty. Others, not so much. Then I'm unhappy. And so are the kids. Last night's dinner? SUCKED. The chicken was OK. The vegetables - I'm not even sure if OJ liked them. The kids and I barely touched them.

Late night - I allow myself a Larabar, and sometimes a small bit of dark chocolate if I really feel like I need it. I look forward to that fucking Larabar ALL DAY. It's hard not to eat it earlier in the day. But if I don't end the day with something sweet I want to kill someone, and I will be looking for food all night then... and sometimes even after the Larabar I'm still craving something. Nights are hardest for me. I just want to eat and eat. Last night I gave in and made a plate of scrambled eggs. Still on the plan, so that's OK, but I REALLY wanted to sneak out after everyone went to bed and hit a drive through or something. I could TASTE Taco Bell's nacho cheese. I'm not kidding. If Taco Bell had been in my house I would have eaten everything they could give me.


So. In conclusion, I kind of hate this diet. I like the results I'm getting, and that's really the only thing that keeps me going. If I hadn't gotten so sick for so long, and didn't have that to compare my currently much healthier self to - I wouldn't be sticking to this diet. It's REALLY difficult. It's very extreme for someone coming from a food background like mine. I think the idea behind a lot of it is sound and the principles for eating for life are good but I think I might take a gentler approach if you're not as sick as me (though the Basic Plan isn't nearly as tough as this one is. I'd be MUCH happier if I could have rice, the occasional potato, or an apple, or banana). 

I'm not giving up. I'm just... trudging through with a sort of grim determination, is all. I think it's important to be honest and examine feelings. I'm laying this out there in case anyone else is trying this, or something like this, and hating it too and getting down on themselves about it. It's OK to feel your feelings. It's hard to make changes, especially when they're this extreme. Do the best you can. It's OK. Don't beat yourself up. I'm not. This is a long term change, over the course of your life, and a few negative feelings for a time aren't going to make or break your life. A few deviations from the plan won't either. Perserverance is the key to success. Even if it's done grimly. :)

Week One FOR REAL THIS TIME

As I mentioned, we went scrapbooking all day Saturday... yesterday proved busier than I'd expected so here we are, Monday morning, finally 'officially' starting week one of the six week program! Week One is called "Eat Your Medicine: Nutrition Basics". I've pretty much been doing this already but here's a breakdown for everyone playing along at home:

Avoid:

• Sugars in any form whatsoever (including agave, maple syrup, stevia, and artificial sweeteners)
• All flour products (even gluten-free)
• All processed food
• All gluten and dairy

That's for anyone on the plan. For those on the advanced plan, like me, also avoid:

• All grains, starchy vegetables, and fruit. (winter squashes, peas, potatoes, corn, and root vegetables)
• You CAN have one-half cup of berries a day.

After the six weeks, we will start reintroducing (slowly) these foods to see how they affect blood sugar, energy, and weight.

Focus on food QUALITY. 

• 500 calories of cookies is not the same as 500 calories of broccoli
• Food is information and it controls your gene expression, hormones, and metabolism
• Portion size matters

There's a lot of talk about mastering glycemic load - he says it is more important than mastering calories; low GI diets don't spike blood sugar and insulin. The basic idea is that you need to combine protein, fats and whole-food, fiber-full, low starch carbs (preferably from vegetables, nuts, and seeds, with limited amounts of whole grains and fruits). Also, never eat carbs alone - always combine them with protein and fat. 

• Eat real food (IE fresh, not processed)
• Clean up your diet (avoid additives, pesticides, antibiotic-and-hromone-fed animal products, etc)
• Go organic
• Stay local and sustainable

When eating carbs:

• Eat "green" carbs freely - largely green and/or leafy vegetables and seaweed
• Eat in moderation: whole grains, legumes, dark berries, stone fruit, apples and pears, and fiber
• Eat limited amounts: starch vegetables and high-sugar fruits (such as melons, grapes, and pineapple)
• Avoid completely: processed carbs, gluten-containing whole grains, dried fruit, and resistant starch ("resistant starch" could even be sawdust! He says some breadmakers use it to 'lower the net carbs')

He also talks about eating phytonutrients, largely from the fruits and vegetables you choose. We all know they're good for us, and each one has different nutrients that affect our bodies in different ways. Check out the book if you want more info about specifics. but basically just eat a lot of them and eat a variety. Other good things to include:

• miso and other whole soy foods (none of that processed soy stuff)
• ground flaxseeds
• herbs
• garlic and onions
• green tea
• dark chocolate

Oh yeah, GOOD NEWS! You can have a little chocolate. It has to be dark, at least 70 percent cocoa, and you should eat no more than 2 ounces a day. Try to save this for after the first six weeks but you don't HAVE to. 

Fats are essential to our bodies! They do not make you fat. Eat the right kinds. Omega-3's are what you want. The best fats and oils come from:

• Wild or sustainably-raised cold-water fish
• avocados and olives
• extra virgin olive oil, walnut oil, sesame oil, sunflower oil, coconut oil and butter
• grass-fed and range-fed animals

Be careful with protein! It's important to our bodies too but every body is different. Some people do great on animal products, some do great as vegans, some need a mix of both. Pick high-quality animal products if you eat them. Make sure you get some source of protein at each meal or snack. Try:

• beans or legumes
• whole soy products (tempeh, tofu, miso, and natto)
• nuts
• seeds
• omega-3 or free-range eggs
• mercury-free fish, shrimp, and scallops
• organic, grass-fed, and hormone-, antibiotic-, and pesticide-free poultry, lamb, and beef (more poultry than lamb and beef).

He says red meat is a treat. He also says pork is the worst, but doesn't give any explanation for that or back it up in any way. We love our pork over here so I'm sitting stubbornly against that one. I need an actual REASON. For all I know, maybe he just hates pigs. 

When you are setting up your pantry for cooking, it's really hard to find certain things that don't have wheat, or funky additives, or sugar. He recommends:

• Tamari (which is wheat-free soy sauce)
• chili pastes and hot sauces
• Tahini
• salt and fresh pepper
• spices (beware of spice blends, some of them have sugar and additives!)
• fresh herbs (grow your own or check the salad section at the grocery store)
• broth or stock (make your own if you can; read labels carefully. I couldn't find ANY that didn't have additives at first, even the organic ones. Then I found some good ones hiding in a separate tiny 'health food' section at my local Jewel-Osco).
• canned or boxed tomatoes, beans, artichokes, fish - check your labels, make the best choices you can
• fresh lemon and lime juice

Personally, I'm having a hard time giving up ketchup (I don't use a lot of it but I do use it in certain foods) and I can't find ketchup without sugar. The organic ketchup at my grocery store at least doesn't contain any additives and it doesn't have high fructose corn syrup. For now I'm not beating myself up over this choice... I don't think a little ketchup will make or break me. I may look into making my own but haven't yet.

I also miss barbecue sauce. Mostly because I was on vacation in the South and oh my was there some tasty-sounding barbecue! :( I didn't eat any of it. I know that barbecue sauce is usually FULL of sugar. I will be able to eat barbecue again one day, so I passed for now.

Country roads, take me home... to the place... I belong... (this has been in my head for days. You're welcome.)

Laying out your plate: basically it should be 1/2 low-starch veggies, 1/4 protein, and 1/4 whole grains or starch vegetables. Unless you're on the advanced plan, like me, in which case it should be 3/4 low-starch veggies and 1/4 protein for 6-12 weeks.

Also be sure to eat on time. Don't skip meals. Eat 3 meals and 2-3 snacks each day. This keeps your metabolism going strong all day. Try to schedule meals for the same time each day. This will also keep your blood sugar balanced.

He also talks a lot about food allergies and why we are cutting out certain foods, especially the gluten and dairy. He talks a bit about the cost of foods and gives some advice on how to eat well for less money. Let's face it, eating healthy costs a lot more. There are ways to save money but it's still been a bit of a hit on the pocketbook. I'm still working on this too. I'll talk more about my experiences with the costs of food and how I've saved money as I get better at that part!

Develop a plan for surviving restaurants. We're all going to eat out. Try to choose restaurants in advance that you know have foods you can eat. Ask lots of questions. Plan ahead. Things like that. 

Bring an emergency food pack with you whenever you leave home. Pretend it's medicine - if you were insulin-dependent (like me!) you wouldn't leave home without your insulin pen, needles, and blood test kit. Bring yourself some food every day too. Things like

• nuts
• veggies (like carrots or cukes)
• a healthy whole-food protein bar (check these ingredients too! A lot of these health-food bars aren't all that healthy. I like Larabars myself. This is another one of my small 'cheats'. I'm allowing myself one Larabar a day. They have dates in them and while dates aren't berries, I don't think the diet gods will strike me down. I eat the peanut butter cookie one (just dates, peanuts, and salt) or the blueberry muffin one (just dates, blueberries, peanuts, and salt). They're pretty good!
• a bottle of water

And of course we're supposed to journal throughout the day... write down what we are, how we feel before the meal, how we feel after, how the FOOD made us feel, what our symptoms are and if they've increased or decreased. Write every evening about our experience with food that day and how it impacted our day. 

The checklist in the book.

That's a lot of stuff! Wooo. Basically, getting healthy is a full-time job. It's crazy. He's got downloadable printable cheat sheets on his website (click here to get them), which is GREAT because there's a lot of stuff to remember. These are just the HIGHLIGHTS from the chapter on the first week of the plan. 

OK scratch that. I thought the book said they were printable but apparently they're not. They are just online checklists. BOO to that. I'm not at my computer all day; that's one of the reasons that online communities often fail for me. He has the same checklist available in the book so you can either join his online community to get it or buy the book to get it. I'll write mine out in the paper journal I made and carry it with me; that's easiest for me. I'll be journaling there too. If I have any amazing food insights I'll be sure to share them here.

I Found My Book!

There was great rejoicing in the land! It appeared mysteriously on my family room floor this morning. I went down to clean / search for it for another half hour and... there it was. So let's play some catch-up here:

I left for vacation while still in the midst of prep week one. I continued to follow the food rules but didn't finish any of the other prep week tasks or tackle anything new. Here's what I didn't finish:

Prepare Your Community

He wants you to join his online site, prepare a support group for yourself with friends, family, and co workers (and try to get them to do the program with you), set boundaries if you have food pushers in your life, and get involved socially and politically at www.takebackourhealth.org .

I am not joining his website. Not because it's bad or anything, just because... it's another step I don't have time for. I've done sparkpeople.com (an excellent site) and teambeachbody.com and others in the past too and have learned that, while I love blogging and I HAVE made lasting online friendships with people this way... I just don't have the time to devote to building lasting relationships with online weight loss friends. I'm more of an introvert so unless an online friendship grows organically over several avenues and time, I'm just not that motivated by strangers and to me it's just another obligation. Support is VITAL, so if this works for you don't skip it, but for me I'll get my support in other areas.

Friends and family... no one is doing the program with me but I have lots of friends and family who are working their own ways to get / stay healthy, and even those that aren't are very supportive. Blogging is great... it seems quite a few of my folks are following along too because I get lots of comments and support in real life as I run into people. Talking about it with everyone is a HUGE source of support and it keeps me on track too!
I also use some tools on my iPhone that have a social structure as well. My two favorite health apps right now are My Fitness Pal and Nexercise.

My Fitness Pal is a food and exercise tracker with a social vibe. I've tried others in the past but keep coming back to this one for two main reasons:

1) Their database of foods (caloric and nutritional values) is HUGE. I've only had to add recipes I make from scratch (I use sparkrecipes.com to calculate the nutritional value of the recipe).

that's the 'cereal' I made up for breakfast. It's actually pretty good.

2) I love the social side. I have a few friends who use it and every time I log in I am treated to their recent accomplishments. You can comment and encourage each other, too!

Leslie is SMOKIN' it!!

 If you use My Fitness Pal and would like to be friends, I'm MillionDreamMom there.

Nexercise is an app that lets you turn exercise into a fun game, and possibly even a competition with your friends. Every time you exercise you start the app, select the workout you are about to do, and hit 'start'.

They have loooootttts of exercises to choose from in their database.

 You earn points for exercising, with bonus points and titles for things like consistency, motion (the app will track motion if you tell it to), time, etc. If you add your friends then you can check the leaderboards to see who is accruing the most points, or give them a nudge if they haven't nexercised in a while! It's a fun and easy way to track my exercise time and I like competing with people so I enjoy that part.

Virtual medals don't really DO anything and yet they make me feel so accomplished!

It also looks like, in the most recent update, they're adding a new point system that might actually get you rewards in the real world, like amazon gift cards and such. I just saw this for the first time yesterday so it's new to me but I am intrigued! That's even MORE motivating!

I'm connected to Nexercise via Facebook so you'll either have to be my friend there or send me an email to connect with Nexercise if you use it. I'd love to have more people to compete with so please do!

As far as becoming socially and politically active... it's on my dream list. I do what I can but right now taking charge of my health and taking care of my family is pretty much a full time job. I dream of being a social and political crusader sometimes but I don't beat myself up for the things I don't do right now. Time is finite; we all do what we can.

Take Measure of Yourself - Track Your Numbers

You're supposed to start out by taking a bunch of measurements. I just ran out of time before vacation so I don't have all of them from the start, but I've taken a lot of these over the past year so I know most of them. Weight, Height, Waist Size, Blood Pressure, BMI, Waist To Height Ratio.
You're also supposed to complete the diabesity quiz(zes) to see if you are on the Basic or Advanced plan.
There's a set of diabesity tests he recommends as well, plus additional tests if you are Advanced.

In the spirit of full disclosure, and probably some oversharing, I'll share my starting numbers with the world. Why not, we're all human, right? It's not where I want to be but it's nothing to be ashamed of either.

Weight - Right now it is 222. A month ago it was 229. At the beginning of this year it was 236.4; the most I've ever weighed.
 Height - 5'6"
Waist Size - Right now it's 47.5". At the beginning of the year it was 50.5".
Blood Pressure - I used a machine to test it while we were on vacation. It was 105/70 and my pulse rate was 78. In June it was 126/7- with a pulse rate of 80. In May it was 122/80.
BMI - my BMI is 35.8. I'm obese!
Waist To Height Ratio - .70 (This website says "Take Action!") Dr. Hyman says "this number is a better predictor of diabesity, heart disease, and risk of death than almost any other number."

In case I didn't mention it, I'm on the Advanced plan. Advanced in this case is NOT a good thing. It means I'm extra sickly. It also means I'm more severely restricted on the foods I am allowed to eat for at least six weeks.

The blood and urine tests he recommends are:
Insulin response test, Hemoglobin A1C, NMR lipid profile, Lipid panel, Triglycerides / HDL ratio, Total cholesterol / HDL ratio, High sensitivity C-reactive protein, Fibrinogen, Lipoprotein, Uric acid, Liver function test, Kidney function test, microalbumin, 25 OH vitamin D, Homocysteine, Ferritin, Thyroid Hormones, and sex hormones. He has a free online guide - How To Work With Your Doctor To Get What You Need - with additional tips and info.
I'm already sort of in the middle of the plan and I already KNOW some of those things are WAY abnormal for me... I'm going to put it on my to-do list to get a physical and talk to my doctor about these tests in the near future.
I can tell you:

• my last Hemoglobin A1C ( a few months ago now) was over TEN. Abnormal is greater than 5.5. Ten is REALLY out of control.
• My total cholesterol, last time we tested (a few months ago), was 257 (ideal is less than 180). My HDL cholesterol was 44 (ideal is higher than 60). My triglycerides were 460 (ideal is less than 100).
• I've got fatty liver disease.
• We tested my thyroid last spring and it came back normal.

So. Now I've caught up with the last of the 'prep' stuff I was supposed to do before officially starting the six weeks. Which I kind of haven't really started counting anyway since I couldn't find the book! I'll write about week one... probably Sunday, because tomorrow I'm going to a Scrapbook Expo with my mom and some friends!