Progress Report

I'm behind in posting. It's getting harder and harder to devote so much of my day to being healthy. I lobe feeling better and losing weight, don't get me wrong - but this lifestyle change takes up a LOT of my time and the longer it goes on, the more things get pushed to the side. Things like cleaning my house, working on my business ideas, even taking care of my family. Finding a balance is hard. This isn't news to any adult alive, I'm sure. I'm still working on that balancing act. (Has anyone actually got it figured out? Because if you do, SHARE WITH US. You could sell that formula and make a fortune.) In the meantime, I haven't given up! I'm not doing it perfectly; but then again, who amongst us is perfect? I just take a page from Cub Scouts, and from what we tell our kids almost every day - just Do Your Best.

Technically I'm in the middle of week four... in a nutshell, week three was making time for relaxation every day and making sure you get proper sleep. I have found it's really difficult, for me at least, to make time for relaxation! I want to just rush through it and GO GO GO on to the next thing on my to do list. I think that's kind of missing the point though. Anyone else have this same problem?
Week four is to add in exercise you enjoy. Ideally cardio, strength training, AND 30-60 minutes of stretching at least twice a week. This is another thing that's tough to fit into every day life. I know exercise should be a priority but I'm still working on that. More on that later.

As I muddle through all this, here's a progress report. (Past progress reports can be found here, for reference.)

Weight - 219
Waist Size - 46.25"
Blood Pressure - haven't tested since last time
BMI - my BMI is 35.3. I'm still obese!
Waist To Height Ratio - .69 (This website says "Take Action!") Dr. Hyman says "this number is a better predictor of diabesity, heart disease, and risk of death than almost any other number."
Hemoglobin A1C - haven't tested since last time
Cholesterol - haven't tested since last time


Insulin- my sugars were creeping a little higher than I liked; fine during the day but getting too high for my fasting. I have added in one shot, my Levemir (slow acting insulin). I am currently taking 25 units each night. My fasting is better - some days ok, some days too high. Daytime blood sugars have still been fine. I continue to monitor regularly.

PLEASE keep going down! I've only had one spike up since I started this, and though it was short-lived it was not a fun time.

I'm right on the cusp of my lowest weight in a long time. For the past several years I've made it down to this weight (219), but never made it past it. I used to go to TOPS - Take Off Pounds Sensibly. I went for about three years. I can't tell you how many times I hit this weight while I was going. I used to bounce regularly between 219 - 225 or so. The beginning of this year saw me at my highest weight EVER - 236.4. Ouch. I've lost 17.4 pounds this year. 10.4 of that has been since August, when I changed my diet drastically. I'm scared I'm going to have some sudden random weight gain and it'll be really discouraging. I really want to get past it forever and never see it again. I haven't been below this weight in at least five years! My daughter (my youngest child) will be six in three weeks. I was right around 220 when I delivered her. I know I lost weight after I had her; I think I got down to about 210 sometime in her first year, and then I went back up to around 220. I stayed in the upper 220's for most of her life, until this year when I crept into the mid-230's. When I GOT pregnant with her I weighed 190. So my intermediate goals kind of coincide with my pregnancies and deliveries... ultimately I'd like to get to at least 175 and then re-evaluate where I'm at. On the way there, my goals are kind of as follows:
218 - because I haven't seen it since Oksana was one or so (5 years ago)
210 - because I haven't seen it since the first year of Oksana's life (5.5 years ago)

190 - the weight I was when I got pregnant with Oksana (6.5 years ago)
180 - the weight I was when I got pregnant with Drake (8.75 years ago)
175 - the weight my doctor told me I needed to be before we should talk about me getting pregnant again (about 9 years ago)

170 is the lowest I recall ever being as an adult. That's where I was when I met my husband (9.25 years ago).

And we'll see what happens after that.

Other indicators of progress:

I can't really SEE it myself yet - despite losing 17.4 pounds this year, since I see myself every day, I don't think I look much different yet. However, I just saw a friend yesterday who hasn't seen me in 2-3 months and she complimented me and said she could definitely see it. And other friends have told me they can tell too. That's always nice to hear.

Clothes - yesterday I wore a pair of jeans that have always fit snugly on me. I could get into them but they were always really tight and never wanted to stay on my ass. They still kind of ride down a bit (I think that's just part of the cut of this particular pair of jeans) but I got into them with no struggle and they stayed on all day comfortably. Today I am wearing a pair of capris that are a size 16. They are a fairly elastic size 16 - I was able to wear them in the past when everything else was a size 18 - but I haven't been able to get into them in about a year. I haven't really noticed a difference as far as my shirts go yet, though I have noticed that most of the time when I look down, I don't see my belly sticking out past my boobs anymore. That's nice.
Current clothing sizes - shirts are still pretty much extra large. Pants are mostly a size 18.

Picture Time!

Me in March of this year, at our Cub Scouts Blue and Gold Dinner.

Me yesterday morning, helping to pack up books to send to a school in Africa so they can have a library. Those are the jeans I mentioned.

Me yesterday, holding a pipe wrench I brought to a friend's OMGWTFBBQ.

Step Out To STOP Diabetes

Click here to view my team page for Chicago's Step Out walk!

 If you read this blog with any regularity, you know I have diabetes, and you know I've struggled with a lot of health problems because of it over the past couple of years. Aside from my personal struggle, I have family members struggling with this disease. Friends. Friends' family members. It is scarily prevalent in our society today. We need drastic changes.

It is with this in mind that I am now inviting you to join me in my quest to prevent and cure diabetes once and for all. Chances are, you also know someone who has been affected by diabetes and you already know how important it is to stop this disease. By making a donation on my behalf, you will be helping the Association provide community-based education programs, protect the rights of people with diabetes and fund critical research for a cure.

If you are unable to make a donation at this time, you can still help. You can register to be a member of my team and join us on the walk. You can spread the word to your friends and family and ask them to help as well.

With your help, we will fight for a future where a parent does not have to hear that their child has diabetes. A future where an adult does not have to face the uncertain times ahead after receiving a diabetes diagnosis. A future where you and I will know that we had a part in making this possible.
I truly appreciate your support. Together we can Stop Diabetes! Thank you.

I Found My Book!

There was great rejoicing in the land! It appeared mysteriously on my family room floor this morning. I went down to clean / search for it for another half hour and... there it was. So let's play some catch-up here:

I left for vacation while still in the midst of prep week one. I continued to follow the food rules but didn't finish any of the other prep week tasks or tackle anything new. Here's what I didn't finish:

Prepare Your Community

He wants you to join his online site, prepare a support group for yourself with friends, family, and co workers (and try to get them to do the program with you), set boundaries if you have food pushers in your life, and get involved socially and politically at www.takebackourhealth.org .

I am not joining his website. Not because it's bad or anything, just because... it's another step I don't have time for. I've done sparkpeople.com (an excellent site) and teambeachbody.com and others in the past too and have learned that, while I love blogging and I HAVE made lasting online friendships with people this way... I just don't have the time to devote to building lasting relationships with online weight loss friends. I'm more of an introvert so unless an online friendship grows organically over several avenues and time, I'm just not that motivated by strangers and to me it's just another obligation. Support is VITAL, so if this works for you don't skip it, but for me I'll get my support in other areas.

Friends and family... no one is doing the program with me but I have lots of friends and family who are working their own ways to get / stay healthy, and even those that aren't are very supportive. Blogging is great... it seems quite a few of my folks are following along too because I get lots of comments and support in real life as I run into people. Talking about it with everyone is a HUGE source of support and it keeps me on track too!
I also use some tools on my iPhone that have a social structure as well. My two favorite health apps right now are My Fitness Pal and Nexercise.

My Fitness Pal is a food and exercise tracker with a social vibe. I've tried others in the past but keep coming back to this one for two main reasons:

1) Their database of foods (caloric and nutritional values) is HUGE. I've only had to add recipes I make from scratch (I use sparkrecipes.com to calculate the nutritional value of the recipe).

that's the 'cereal' I made up for breakfast. It's actually pretty good.

2) I love the social side. I have a few friends who use it and every time I log in I am treated to their recent accomplishments. You can comment and encourage each other, too!

Leslie is SMOKIN' it!!

 If you use My Fitness Pal and would like to be friends, I'm MillionDreamMom there.

Nexercise is an app that lets you turn exercise into a fun game, and possibly even a competition with your friends. Every time you exercise you start the app, select the workout you are about to do, and hit 'start'.

They have loooootttts of exercises to choose from in their database.

 You earn points for exercising, with bonus points and titles for things like consistency, motion (the app will track motion if you tell it to), time, etc. If you add your friends then you can check the leaderboards to see who is accruing the most points, or give them a nudge if they haven't nexercised in a while! It's a fun and easy way to track my exercise time and I like competing with people so I enjoy that part.

Virtual medals don't really DO anything and yet they make me feel so accomplished!

It also looks like, in the most recent update, they're adding a new point system that might actually get you rewards in the real world, like amazon gift cards and such. I just saw this for the first time yesterday so it's new to me but I am intrigued! That's even MORE motivating!

I'm connected to Nexercise via Facebook so you'll either have to be my friend there or send me an email to connect with Nexercise if you use it. I'd love to have more people to compete with so please do!

As far as becoming socially and politically active... it's on my dream list. I do what I can but right now taking charge of my health and taking care of my family is pretty much a full time job. I dream of being a social and political crusader sometimes but I don't beat myself up for the things I don't do right now. Time is finite; we all do what we can.

Take Measure of Yourself - Track Your Numbers

You're supposed to start out by taking a bunch of measurements. I just ran out of time before vacation so I don't have all of them from the start, but I've taken a lot of these over the past year so I know most of them. Weight, Height, Waist Size, Blood Pressure, BMI, Waist To Height Ratio.
You're also supposed to complete the diabesity quiz(zes) to see if you are on the Basic or Advanced plan.
There's a set of diabesity tests he recommends as well, plus additional tests if you are Advanced.

In the spirit of full disclosure, and probably some oversharing, I'll share my starting numbers with the world. Why not, we're all human, right? It's not where I want to be but it's nothing to be ashamed of either.

Weight - Right now it is 222. A month ago it was 229. At the beginning of this year it was 236.4; the most I've ever weighed.
 Height - 5'6"
Waist Size - Right now it's 47.5". At the beginning of the year it was 50.5".
Blood Pressure - I used a machine to test it while we were on vacation. It was 105/70 and my pulse rate was 78. In June it was 126/7- with a pulse rate of 80. In May it was 122/80.
BMI - my BMI is 35.8. I'm obese!
Waist To Height Ratio - .70 (This website says "Take Action!") Dr. Hyman says "this number is a better predictor of diabesity, heart disease, and risk of death than almost any other number."

In case I didn't mention it, I'm on the Advanced plan. Advanced in this case is NOT a good thing. It means I'm extra sickly. It also means I'm more severely restricted on the foods I am allowed to eat for at least six weeks.

The blood and urine tests he recommends are:
Insulin response test, Hemoglobin A1C, NMR lipid profile, Lipid panel, Triglycerides / HDL ratio, Total cholesterol / HDL ratio, High sensitivity C-reactive protein, Fibrinogen, Lipoprotein, Uric acid, Liver function test, Kidney function test, microalbumin, 25 OH vitamin D, Homocysteine, Ferritin, Thyroid Hormones, and sex hormones. He has a free online guide - How To Work With Your Doctor To Get What You Need - with additional tips and info.
I'm already sort of in the middle of the plan and I already KNOW some of those things are WAY abnormal for me... I'm going to put it on my to-do list to get a physical and talk to my doctor about these tests in the near future.
I can tell you:

• my last Hemoglobin A1C ( a few months ago now) was over TEN. Abnormal is greater than 5.5. Ten is REALLY out of control.
• My total cholesterol, last time we tested (a few months ago), was 257 (ideal is less than 180). My HDL cholesterol was 44 (ideal is higher than 60). My triglycerides were 460 (ideal is less than 100).
• I've got fatty liver disease.
• We tested my thyroid last spring and it came back normal.

So. Now I've caught up with the last of the 'prep' stuff I was supposed to do before officially starting the six weeks. Which I kind of haven't really started counting anyway since I couldn't find the book! I'll write about week one... probably Sunday, because tomorrow I'm going to a Scrapbook Expo with my mom and some friends!

A Holding Pattern

Diet update, for those playing along at home:

We got home from vacation late Sunday night / Monday morning (a bit after midnight). The entire time I was on vacation, I stuck to the preliminary week instructions of "no sugar, no flour, no caffeine, no alcohol". I was going to start the official six weeks while on vacation, but the rest was so difficult to stick to while out of my element (and while in the South where everything is battered and deep fried and delicious OMG) that I decided to just stick to those rules until after I got home, was back in my own kitchen, and had a chance to grocery shop and stock up for the 'official' plan. I didn't count calories or anything, just stuck to the rules, and it turns out I lost four pounds in the ten days we were on vacation. I ate whenever I was hungry and stopped when I wasn't. Four pounds in ten days... VS seven pounds in FOUR MONTHS when I was counting calories and exercising. I felt a lot better too (with the exception of some cravings at first and some occasional bitterness over not being able to eat delicious vacation foods... but not TOO much bitterness because I know how those foods make me feel!).

I didn't really drink that bottle of SoCo, I just *wanted* to.

So I grocery shopped yesterday and came up with a rough outline of things I can eat for each meal and snacks. Now, in addition to no sugar, no flour, no caffeine and no alcohol, I'm also on no dairy, no fruits (except 1/2 cup of berries a day), no grains of ANY kind, and no starchy vegetables. It's not a perfect system... there are some questions the book leaves kind of ambigious (for example, no sugars of ANY KIND, but then raw honey is in quite a bit of the recipes? So I guess it is OK?) and I'm just trying to use common sense and pay attention to my body. Started today, and already had low blood sugar this afternoon. I'm hardly taking any daytime insulin. Likely going to have to adjust down soon. This is a good thing, but it's a scary process overall.

Another complication: our nephew is staying with us for ten days. He was on vacation with us in North Carolina, drove back home with us, and will be flying to his home in Texas next week. So it's kind of like having another ten days of vacation on my hands. I have some advantages - I'm home, we're not eating out as much, I can cook more and control many of my food choices. Some of the vacation 'disadvantages' are still present though - I'm entertaining another person most of the day, we're going out a lot and trying to make it a fun visit for HIM, my entire schedule is completely thrown off.

Finally, I feel guilty making all these 'weird' dietary changes and dragging the kids along. Especially my ten year old nephew who doesn't know us terribly well (he lives in Texas; we live in Illinois; we don't get to see him very often) and who just wants, say, a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I'm trying to strike a balance between having healthy but still kid-friendly things in the house (cereal and milk for breakfast, bread for lunch sandwiches, etc) and steering them towards the new diet I'm on. Aside from feeling a bit guilty for just springing it on them, I'm also left wondering how healthy it is to restrict foods so much from young kids. I will have to read up on that some more. The severe restrictions won't be for terribly long so it's probably OK in the short term, and as I just noted I AM keeping some things in the house for them that I am not eating, but it's definitely a challenge to be the main food and meal provider for an entire family when we're not all quite on the same plan.

I haven't even had time to revisit the book itself and see what other things I'm supposed to be doing. I've got the food rules down pretty well because I planned that out before leaving for vacation. I know there are things like exercising, meditation / relaxation, and supplements I'm supposed to be integrating at certain points... that's all going to be difficult with my schedule being so extremely thrown off the next week. Hell, we haven't even finished unpacking from vacation! My husband went back to work right away, and he hurt his back really badly a few days ago (not sure how; he thinks it might be a pinched nerve), so the poor man just wants to Ben Gay and lay down when he gets home. I've been trying to entertain the kids AND make new meal plans AND grocery shop for a whole new food lifestyle (I spent a lot more time grocery shopping yesterday than usual!) AND get the kids registered for school AND get all the school shopping done today AND cook a bunch of new, healthy meals with ingredients I'm not familiar with. I trashed my kitchen, it's still recovering, and while I got caught up on all the vacation laundry, I have at least half the bags left to unpack. We'll be out and about the next few days exploring the city with my nephew; I just don't feel like I'm going to catch up anytime soon!

Next Wednesday he flies home AND my kids start school. So while I'm going to continue following the food rules, as far as the rest of it goes, I think next week is really going to be when I am back on a mostly-sane schedule and will start 'officially' counting the six weeks and doing all the other things he says to do.

Right now it's all I can do to stick to the food rules!

Trying Something New

I've been on this journey for about four months, and I've lost seven pounds. Seven. Pounds. Less than half a pound a week.

I'm not perfect. I don't count my calories every day. I don't exercise every day... occasionally by choice, but mostly the days I don't exercise are because I'm still having health problems. Not every single thing I put in my mouth is of the highest quality. These things are probably true for all of us.

That said, I really truly have been working hard these past four months. I count my calories and stay within range more days than not (or if I go over, it's only 100-200 calories. At this stage in the game I should still be losing). I exercise at least half the time. My diet is vastly improved and I eat much healthier, and therefore much less junk, than I used to. If you look at the math behind weight loss, there's really no reason I shouldn't have lost between 16-32 pounds by now.

Some people believe weight loss is all about math. I'm a living example that this is not true. There are other factors at play here. Trying to figure them out is more frustrating than I can describe.

I haven't really been tempted to give up in the long run yet. I've had moments where I've been in a complete fuck-it-all mood, but they're few and far between. Mostly I'm just in a long-running overall funk about how slow it's going. I feel helpless. Frustrated. Angry. Confused. Irritated. Jealous of people who ARE losing weight. Ashamed. Judged. Defensive. I'm not in a great emotional place; it's supremely difficult to work this hard for so few results.

I have seen results in some areas. For one thing, I may have only lost seven pounds, but it's a loss. It's moving in the right direction. It's just not moving as fast as the MATH says it should, or as fast as my doctors would like it to move.

For another, my health is vastly improved. It's not perfect; I'd say about half of my days are difficult health-wise now. This is MUCH better than the state I was in a few short months ago where EVERY day was difficult. It wasn't so long ago that every day I felt lethargic, dizzy, extremely fatigued (as in literally-unable-to-stay-awake), achy, sore, lightheaded, foggy minded, bloated, and more. I couldn't drive. I couldn't cook or shop for my family. I couldn't clean or manage most of the simplest household tasks. I could barely care for my children all day. It was hell.  Feeling so much better is amazing to me, and when I get really frustrated about my health and diet situation, I need only remind myself to look at the recent past to feel better about it. This is the single largest motivator I need to continue working on health, fitness and weight loss.

That being said, I believe something is wrong. Weight loss isn't ALL about math but I still believe it should largely be about math. There's some magic formula where the pounds should start melting away, if only I can find it. I don't mean 'magic formula' like diet pills... the 'magic formula' is really just 'eat better, exercise more'. But sometimes there are roadblocks that need to be removed, and I think I have one, but I can't quite figure out what to do to get around it.

I suspect the culprit is insulin. My blood sugar is under control again, but I take a LOT of insulin to keep it where it needs to be. My insulin resistance is very high. I take a lot more insulin than a 33 year old Type II Diabetic should be taking. Insulin takes excess sugar and places it in fat cells. With all this extra insulin swimming around in my body, some of it doing nothing (because insulin resistance means that my body is blocking some of this insulin from being used at all, meaning I keep having to flood it with more insulin, some of which has nothing to do but MAKE FAT), its no wonder I'm struggling.
It's sort of a catch-22 though, because I can't take less insulin until I lose more weight. The theory goes that losing weight will improve my insulin resistance (IE make me LESS resistant), which will lead to me needing less insulin via injections, and things should spiral into the direction of health and fitness. Since I'm barely losing weight though, I'm not getting to the point where I can take less insulin, and as a result it often feels like I'm trudging through mud every. day.

My mom gave me one of those women's magazines over the weekend. Woman's Day or First or something like that. There was a health article she wanted me to read. Often I'm skeptical when I read these "I lost 200 pounds with THIS great new diet!" articles because, while the information isn't bad, a lot of it is recycled. This one, however, laid out every single symptom I've had this year. It also discussed fatty liver disease (which I have) and the strains it puts on your system,the difficulties it can cause for weight loss, and so on. They discussed a book called The Blood Sugar Solution that seems like it was written for people like me. So... I'm ordering it.


 It's a tragedy that bookstores are disappearing... there are NO bookstores within a half hour of me and I just haven't had time to get out to one. I'm grateful for amazon.com but at the same time I wish I could just run out and have it in my hands!! It should be here Tuesday and I might as well block off a good amount of time so I can read it as soon as it arrives.

Here's hoping it has some answers for me... not just answers, but also strategies for dealing with this weight loss struggle. It would really bolster my spirits.

Team Beachbody

I mentioned a couple months back that I decided to become a Team Beachbody coach. Here's where I'm at thus far:

I've completed the TurboJam first month challenge. The second month was harder, not because of the work but because I had a lot of health issues crop up again. I've managed to keep my blood sugar largely under control though and I exercise when I can. I've had multiple sinus infections, and now I'm battling a nasty stomach virus. I exercise every day I can. I really enjoy the TurboJam program. Chalene, the trainer, is fun and bouncy while remaining encouraging instead of annoying. Each exercise program is a challenge, not so much that I can't keep up BUT I'm positively dripping with sweat each time I finish. I wholeheartedly recommend it and am looking forward to trying other exercise programs as well.

I have fallen a bit off the Shakeology bandwagon. I was really excited to try all three flavors. I have. My personal, brief opinions are... the chocolate is great, I really like it. Very palatable. The green berry is FUNKY and I want nothing to do with it (others seem to love it though). The strawberry has great flavor but I can't get rid of the powdery / grittiness to it, and that makes it really hard for me to drink. I'm going to continue experimenting and will test out different methods and recipes. I'll probably largely stick to the chocolate for myself though.

Teambeachbody.com is a great resource. I don't use it as often as I should (daily!) but it's great for tracking your exercise and for meeting folks doing the same programs and encouraging each other. What I really like about it is the meal plans - I followed their plan for a good month and almost never had a bad meal. It makes the calorie counting part of my lifestyle very easy. If you'd like to join (the basic membership is FREE), head over to my page, sign up, and friend me! http://www.teambeachbody.com/milliondreammom

Overall I'm enjoying the company so far and am looking forward to running future challenge groups and fit clubs. I created a Facebook page for my business, please go over and 'like' it. I'll share information on products, specials, challenges, and also post encouraging pictures, quotes, and articles.

If you are interested in trying Shakeology, here's my web link:

http://myshakeology.com/MillionDreamMom

If you are interested in purchasing any of our programs, here's my web link:
beachbodycoach.com/MILLIONDREAMMOM

Let me know if you have any questions or requests for future posts about the company!

Struggles

It's been a rough day/night. It's 8AM and I haven't been able to sleep yet.

It's hard to be healthy when you struggle with myriad health issues. It's a near-constant game of two steps forward, one step back. If you persevere you WILL get ahead, but it can be very frustrating.

Controlling diabetes can feel like a full-time job. This is not my only problem, but I daresay it's my largest. I've been mum on this blog for quite a while; I was feeling like crap pretty much every day of my life and couldn't get a handle on things. I was convinced I had thyroid problems or lupus or something. Turns out it was simply that my blood sugar was way out of control. My AIC was over 10. (For you non-diabetics, that's pretty bad; target is under 6.) Being in the thick of things, even knowing that tight blood sugar control is essential, it can be very easy to slip up and loosen the reins a bit and still convince yourself you are doing better than you actually are. The numbers don't lie though.

Unfortunately when things get that out of control, it takes awhile to fix it up. It was a slow process of adjusting medications, feeling a little better... better enough to tackle improving my nutrition. Feeling a little bit better still, and finally feeling like I was able to tack on some daily exercise. I got my blood sugar under control, but not without extensive work. So then I wasn't blogging because the majority of my days were spent:

1) planning the food I would eat that day
2) going to the grocery store daily (for fresh foods and also because planning out an entire week was too overwhelming)
3) testing my sugars a million times a day (fasting, before meals, after meals, before and after exercise, before bed, sometimes during the night)
4) writing down everything I was eating, all my sugar readings, all the medications and supplements I took that day, any exercise I did, all my insulin dosages, any health symptoms I had... keeping a log for myself, my doctors, AND my nutritionist (all of whom I've met with multiple times over the past couple months)
5) exercising every day for 30-60 minutes
6) eating on time, cooking healthy meals
7) trying to get enough sleep every night (always a problem for me)

I'm still doing a lot of those things, and by the time I've done that plus the basic daily 'taking care of the kids, pets, and house', it seems every day is completely GONE. No time for extra projects, no time for blogging, no time for my to-do lists. I keep thinking this should all take less time, and yet it never seems to. I'm waiting for some sort of balance to kick in where these things get easier and don't take my entire day... I don't know if that will ever happen, and I don't want this to be my entire life. And yet... if I DON'T do it, I get sicker and sicker until I can't do anything.

Despite my best efforts, the weight is sticking to me like glue. I managed to scrape off about six pounds over the past couple months... then I got hit with the recurring sinus infection from hell (I'm on my third round of antibiotics for it, and I have to go for a CAT scan of my sinuses) and that drops me for a good week every time it comes back. My eating and sleeping get shot to hell again.

That's where I am right now. Coming off the third bout of sinus infection. Feeling better (worried it won't last though), but while I was down I missed some of my medications (and my eating and exercise were shot to hell; I'm afraid to get on the scale right now). So I started one of them back up about a week ago... it's one where I have to gradually scale the dose to my max... and every time I scale up I get sick for a day. Friday night I scaled up for the second time, and yesterday I had a migraine, dizziness, nausea off and on all day. I managed to do OK in the eating department... only to have two swings into the low blood sugar range.

This is where it gets REALLY frustrating, being diabetic and losing weight. The healthier you get, (in general) the less insulin you need. Which means that as your body gets better, you're going to start experiencing low blood sugars. Which you have to live with for a little while until you see a pattern and your doctor has you adjust your medications downward.

Low blood sugar is hell. There are a lot of symptoms; here is what happens to me: I get shaky. My hands tremble uncontrollably and a feeling of panic wells up inside me as my body suddenly becomes extremely weak. I become lightheaded, and often nauseous. All judgment flies out the window and I'm overcome with an overwhelming urge to EAT (to fix the problem). Adrenaline flows through my body, trying to take the place of the glucose, and with a surge of adrenaline comes a lack of reason.

Here's what a diabetic is SUPPOSED to do when experiencing low blood sugar:

1) ingest one carb serving's worth of some sort of sugar. Nothing with fat, it slows the absorption. A half cup of juice, a few glucose tablets - those are your best choices. In a pinch, a half-cup of full sugar soda will do. Or hard candy or marshmallows or something. 15 grams of sugar.

2) Then WAIT. Wait 15 minutes and test your blood sugar again. If it is still low, repeat step one and wait another 15 minutes.

Imagine being hit with a surge of adrenaline, an extreme fight or flight response, and then having to just SIT calmly and wait it out. IT'S REALLY HARD. The effects of the low blood sugar, by the way, continue for about a half hour after your sugar has come back to normal. So even though your body is technically OK, you FEEL like everything is wrong.

Here's what actually happens when a diabetic has low blood sugar:

you just keep eating...

and eating...

and eating...

and eating...

and eating...

and eating.

Finally your body realizes it is OK and you calm the hell down and become rational. Just in time to have your blood sugar SKYROCKET.

Oh, and you also ate your entire week's worth of calories in one sitting.

Going through it once in a day is really hard on your body. Going through it twice in one day? You'll probably be totally wiped out.

So here I am. Low blood sugar twice yesterday, in addition to already being dizzy and nauseous and migrained from my medication adjustment. There was no sleeping last night, despite my best efforts and the fact that I'm pretty exhausted. I just felt too miserable. The room seems to keep spinning even when I close my eyes.

I'm not sure what to do with today now, as it stretches before me. I fear I'm too tired and ill-feeling to accomplish anything worthwhile. This will likely only get worse as the day goes on. However, sleeping during the day will only perpetuate this vicious cycle of insomnia at night.

Add in a healthy dose of anxiety over all the articles I've read in the past year telling me that adequate rest is ESSENTIAL to health and weight loss. 

As always, the best course of action is to not give up. To just KEEP TRYING. Even if the pattern is two steps forward, one step back - I'm still getting ahead, it's just much slower than I'd like. As much as it doesn't FEEL like it, low blood sugar is a GOOD sign. It means I'm moving in the right direction. It's a struggle, true; but it's a good fight for a worthwhile cause. I'm fighting for me. I'm fighting for my family. I'm fighting for my life, and for once that's quite literal.

Giving up is not an option, even when it's hard. ESPECIALLY when it's hard.

Turbo Jam 60 Day Challenge!

Most of you know Ive been struggling with a lot of health problems lately. I seriously need to shape up, lose weight, and get healthier. One of the steps Im taking to do so is by using Shakeology, a delicious super-healthy meal replacement (or supplement) shake that also replaces my multivitamin and my probiotics. Its sold by Team Beachbody, the folks who also sell p90x, Insanity, and lots of other best-selling workouts. 

I decided to get the stuff at a discount (and add to my own motivation) by becoming a Team Beachbody coach myself. I further decided to up the ante by getting one of their (beginning; p90x scares me!) workouts. To that end, Im inviting all of you to join me in a 60-day challenge!

TurboJam 60 Day Challenge!

Where:  Your living room, bedroom, garage, wherever you work hardest!

When: May 1 - June 30

Kickboxing and body sculpting set to the hottest dance music.

Turbo Jam^® also includes Turbo Sculpting Gloves to help you increase muscle activity for faster results. In a university study, some participants burned up to 1,000 calories an hour. Turbocharge your weight loss and have a blast kickboxing, dancing, and body sculpting with trainer Chalene Johnson. You’ll burn calories and fat to reshape your body fast.

The Challenge is a 60 Day Accountability group designed to help you along your journey. You are not in this alone. There are many others who are pressing play and digging deeper every day just like you, and we are all here to help keep you motivated to get in the best shape of your life.




For the Best Results in 60 Days:
   - Shakeology (Suggested)
   - TurboJam Program (Required)
   - 100% commitment (Required)
   - Daily accountability in a private group of other participants to help keep you motivated.  (Required)
   - Log your workouts daily on your FREE Wowy Super Gym (Required)

To Get Started and to Join The Group:

-         Step 1:

TO ENSURE YOU ARE ON MY TEAM:  Go to www.teambeachbody.com/milliondreammom tocreate your FREE account (Click Join Team Beachbody) or click on Become A Coach (for discounts & to earn referral fees)

 

-         Step 2: 

Order the TurboJam workout program. Follow the link below, select shop Team Beachbody, and go to fitness programs.

http://beachbodycoach.com/MILLIONDREAMMOM 

(To save 25% Buy it as a CHALLENGE PACK instead; this includes your Shakeology and your Team Beachbody membership!)

The challenge kicks off on May 1, 2012. You will have access to all of us via phone, text, and the FB group: 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/254236181342338/

And I will be giving you 100% of my attention. If you slack off, Im calling you! If you're ready for that kind of accountability and you want to be in this group, you meet the above requirements, and you're ready to get in the best shape of your life, then let's get started!

GET SERIOUS, no more pussyfooting around!!!


Once Again....

--Challenge Begins May 1^st 
Order ASAP to give yourself ample time to receive the workout 

You can order the TurboJam program by itself, BUT it is my recommendation to purchase the TurboJam CHALLENGE PACK http://beachbodycoach.com/MILLIONDREAMMOM for theBEST VALUE & BEST RESULTS!  

GET FIT OR DIE TRYING!

Keep On Keepin' On

My husband told me this morning that I look thinner. I weighed myself this afternoon and there's no weight change, but I haven't done any measurements in a while so I don't know if my body has actually changed. It was nice to hear, especially since I AM making efforts to build health. Whether it's an illusion or reality, it was a nice reinforcement.

I'm only a couple days into my plan to put my health first instead of second, and already I feel better. Not great, mind you, but I have noticed a subtle difference, mostly in the afternoons / early evenings. I'm a little more energetic, a little more productive, and my stomach hasn't been hurting quite as much. Unfortunately the fatigue is still there in the mornings and it comes back in the evenings, and the stomach issues are still around, just not as prevalent during the day. This also gives me hope.

I'm not doing anything mind-blowing. I'm just focusing on the real basics. Automate the foods I am eating - limit to a basic plan for each meal at a set calorie amount, and avoid all other foods almost all the time. Eat meals on time. Exercise. Take my meds and supplements, and take them on time. Track my blood sugar and all health issues. Keep up with all doctor visits and tests and stay on top of my health care providers until we get me back to normal. And GO TO SLEEP ON TIME and get ENOUGH sleep (something I have ALWAYS struggled with).

I'll talk a bit more in future posts about automating my meal plans and exercise, which has been a challenge because of my health issues and fatigue. It's kind of a Catch-22; I know exercising generally helps you have more energy, but I've been too tired to exercise! I'm working on it.

Comparing Weight Loss to Financial Peace University

My husband and I recently began attending Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. (We've gone to two sessions thus far - I will be talking about this aspect of our lives more on my main blog.) One of my goals when we signed up was to take this knowledge and his methods and apply them in some fashion to not just our financial lives, but also to my quest to be healthier (and possibly even my quest for organization). As we go through each lesson, I have been spending some time thinking about how I would apply them to my weight loss / health plans.

Lesson one focuses on Super Saving. The upshot of the lesson is that you should strive, quickly, to save up $1,000 in an emergency fund (his Baby Step One) because saving money is important, because it's something that most people can do fairly quickly, because it provides peace of mind (in case of 'unexpected' events, you don't have to turn to your credit cards, which you are to stop using because they're bad for you!), and because it is a quick accomplishment that will make you feel good about this path and help jumpstart the process for you.

So, with that in mind... what would be the 'Super Saving / Baby Step One' equivalent for weight loss / living a healthier lifestyle?

Things I have considered...

1) taking a walk every day (jumpstarting exercise)
2) kitchen clean out - getting rid of all the crap foods in your house
3) identifying some quick, healthy meals to replace junk food and eating out in your life
4) BASIC kitchen refill, using step 3 as a guide

Any other ideas? Thoughts on the items I was considering?